When the Main Breadwinner Loses His Job

This post is courtesy of guest blogger Lida Bunting.

When the main breadwinner loses his job, your world can go into a quick tailspin. And, on May 27, 2018, that is exactly what happened đồ sộ us.

Regardless of the financial implications of my spouse being out of work, the fact that there was another body toàn thân in the house all… the… time… was really stressful. I couldn’t wait đồ sộ get out of the house, and, my previously perfect quiet and productive days were now gone. I didn’t have my private space. I work from trang chính, sánh I didn’t have my quiet time. Everything was shared – including the office space that I used đồ sộ love. I had started my own business only 2 years earlier, sánh I had taken over our trang chính office. I loved my work space. I loved my quiet time. And, I needed every single hour my kids were at school đồ sộ bust my butt sánh that I could grow my business.

Instead of sticking around the house, I would grab my máy vi tính, go đồ sộ Starbucks or the library, and just work there sánh that I wouldn’t have đồ sộ be trang chính. We were both unhappy – I wasn’t happy because I was not as productive as I would have been at trang chính, and he was unhappy because he felt uncomfortable working in the trang chính office that I had taken over.

As far as regular-day life, the first few months of him being trang chính, I was adamant đồ sộ keep the routine “as is”. I didn’t let him tự any of the jobs that I typically took care of – feeding the kids in the morning, making their lunches, preparing their snacks, going over their school work, writing the teacher notes, etc. I didn’t want đồ sộ get comfortable with him around, because then I figured it would be harder đồ sộ go back đồ sộ the way it was. And, I thought he’d be back at work within 2 months. So, I reasoned, I will shoo him away from my tên miền and he can go work in the office and find himself a job. Pronto.

Well, one month turned into two, which turned into three, and then somehow turned into eight. I gave up on my tên miền. I gave up on my turf. And, despite fighting it sánh long, I found myself liking the shared responsibilities. Where I previously was the sole parent for the kids’ needs during the day, and for chauffeuring them đồ sộ and from activities after school, he had taken on lunches, snacks, homework and half of the activities.

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I found myself more relaxed and happy. And I wasn’t alone in that new attitude. There was a change in all of us. There was less yelling at the kids. We gave and received a lot more hugs and cuddles throughout the week. There was less rushing around and being frazzled and uptight about everything. The duties were being shared, sánh the frustration was cut in half.

I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. And, if you had asked má 8 months earlier if I was working hard on growing my own business and if my family was close, I would have said, “hell yeah!” But, I wasn’t. My company had been lower on my priority list as kids, volunteer responsibilities, and trang chính duties would trump my work. So although I thought I was building a business, I really hadn’t been. Him losing his job gave má the kick in the butt that I needed. No longer could I approach this as a few hours a week type of job. The 3 clients I had would not sustain us, and I went out and knocked on doors, networked lượt thích crazy and built up a legitimate company. As far as the kids, they developed a great routine with him, and I learned how đồ sộ manage my time and share ‘our’ office (although, I’d still lượt thích đồ sộ điện thoại tư vấn it ‘my’ office ).

He did get a job and went back đồ sộ work. It took má 8 ½ months đồ sộ adapt đồ sộ the new dynamic when he was trang chính, and only about 2 weeks đồ sộ get back đồ sộ the “old” ways. But, we did make some changes. Changes that would not have happened had he not lost his job. For instance, we realized that our roles as parents and providers for the family needed đồ sộ be more shared. Whereas he was the main provider for our financial needs, we realized that I needed đồ sộ step up and also contribute financially đồ sộ the family. I needed đồ sộ dive into my company, bill more hours, and run rẩy it lượt thích a business should be run rẩy, and not as a hobby. And, he learned that all the duties with the kids couldn’t fall on má and he now takes a much more active role in the morning routine and evening chauffeuring. Balance, I have found, is everything.

So maybe him losing his job has a silver lining around it – my business has grown and I’m consistently billing more hours, and we are both coming away from this with a new outlook on parenting, our jobs, and, especially, our kids.

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